Ask Tia - The Art of Herding Cats

Hi everypawdy - it's been too long since I shared my wisdom. It's all the fault of my online hairy minion who's been slacking off lately, and even claimed to be working on higher priority tasks. A swift bite on the bottom soon reminded him that he is an idiot, and that I will always be his priority. After all, I have desperate dogs who need my help in their time of need. And I also need the distraction from Rodney and the other handsome males - we do seem to have more of them about these days - it's hard to decide where to look sometimes!

Enough of that - let's make some poor dog's life better. I've received this plea for assistance from Nikita, and I instantly knew I had to help - the delicious sausages that mysteriously appeared at the same time had absolutely nothing to do with my decision!

 

        Hi Tia,

My name is Nikita (picture attached). Last year my mum brought home some kittens....three of them (unbelievable!), and now they are bigger she lets them go outside. Problem iv got is I like to round them all up..., but there's three of them to control. All good when they are still, problem is mum keeps shouting at me to stop rounding them up. I don't hurt them, the cats come up to me and Eboni my sister ( she does not chase them ) and they cuddle up. 

When mum can't cope anymore she puts me in the kitchen, then the cats follow me into there ...cheek of it, one lies by my water bowl. I'm a good dog, so I just lie next to them. It's when they are running around I get stressed. I'm convinced these cats just do it to get me into trouble. Any suggestions on cat control ?

Nikita xx

Ps Nikita the sable one, Eboni who is the good one, is the black one lol

Thanks for contacting me Nikita, this situation is wrong on so many levels that I'm not sure where to start. Herding cats is difficult, especially if there's more than one. While clearly an inferior species they can be tricksy, and don't underestimate the sharpness of their claws - even on the little ones. They can be quick, so you need to slow them down a bit and make them easier to handle. Sneak up on them from behind while they're distracted, for example while they're eating, and swift bites to their bottoms will help bring them in line.

Sadly your problems don't end there. Mums are usually wise, if a bit sweary at times, but in this case your mum is plain wrong. You're a German Shepherd, a dog bred for keeping other animals in their place, or moving them where they need to be. You know what you have to do - a bite on the bottom will help her focus, but I advise running away quickly as these hoomans don't take such gentle reminders well and I've found it best to remain out of reach until they calm down and realise they were wrong.

If you have a problem the needs my wisdom to solve then you can email my bearded monkey at tiaspupdates@gmail.com and he'll do whatever I tell him to. I do like sausages, but sometimes it's nice to be surprised. 

Anyway, Rodney is looking magnificent, so ta ta for now. Love Tia 🐾🐾🐾

To help keep me in the treats I so richly deserve, please consider donating generously to the German Shepherd Dog Welfare Fund who rescued me, and now continue to take good care of me. https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=3TFBXREQPUVUG

Editor's Note (while Tia's not looking)  - Tia's not a trained professional, and you really shouldn't try her advice at home, or anywhere else for that matter!