Calm and Confident Puppies
Socialising
There is a lot of information about how important ‘socialising’ puppies can be. Many puppy books and social media sites encourage new puppy owners to socialise their puppies by exposing them to as many different things, places, people, and dogs as possible in the early weeks of their lives so that they become used to everything they encounter.
Socialising is a vital part of training your puppy to cope with every situation she may need to face as she gets older, but it is the way that you socialise your puppy that really matters. How you approach socialising makes the difference between a calm, confident puppy and an over excitable, or stressed and anxious puppy.
Socialising Rather than Experiencing
A puppy’s first experience of something new needs to Feel Good.
Then the next 10 experiences of that same new thing need to Feel Good.
Only then is it ok for an experience of that new thing to just Feel Ok.
You need AT LEAST 20 good experiences of something before one of those experiences can Feel Bad, otherwise your puppy may develop fear issues.
If your puppy sees something in the house, garden, or street that she is afraid of, you will see some of the following signals:
❖ Lip licking
❖ Yawning
❖ Panting
❖ Drooling
❖ Penis-crowning – the further out it comes, the more stressed he is
❖ Stiff tail
❖ Shaking off shows he has felt stressed and is trying to calm down
❖ Chewing ‘hard’ on a bone or toy
❖ Obsessive sniffing of the ground
THESE SIGNALS MEAN YOUR PUPPY IS UNCOMFORTABLE - YOU NEED TO GIVE THEM DISTANCE FROM WHATEVER IS BOTHERING THEM.
Signs of Stress and Anxiety
Try to be aware of any signals that show your puppy is stressed or anxious, either inside or outside the home. If you see any of the signs, then your pup needs distance from whatever is making him feel uneasy, so take him away, or make sure that he can get away if he feels crowded by somebody at home.
Do not say anything when he needs to move away – try to remember that reassurance will not make him feel any better. Unlike children, puppies are rarely soothed by owners trying to reassure them. The only thing that makes most puppies feel safe is distance from the thing that is bothering them, so create that distance without saying anything.
Once he has enough distance and you can see your puppy feels ok and is calm, praise and treat him. This is a way of making his calmness Feel Good.
It can seem a bit counter-intuitive because it might seem as if you are treating him for moving away. You are waiting until he is calm and can preferably look back at the thing that has upset him.
Calm methods always use Feel Good to reinforce calm reactions. So, we ignore any fear, whining, trembling etc. We just give the puppy what he needs in that situation, which is distance.
By reinforcing a calm reaction with the Feel Good of a treat, your puppy’s brain starts to become programmed to react more and more calmly to things that bother him, building his confidence.
THESE SIGNALS SHOW HIGH LEVELS OF STRESS OR ANXIETY IN THE HOME
❖ Shredding toys or bedding
❖ Chewing furniture
❖ Suckling for a long time on his bed. He’s doing it to self-soothe, which is good, but he needs to self-soothe because he feels stressed.
❖ Pacing
❖ Licking any part of the body obsessively
❖ Repeated scratching of any part of the body
❖ Whining
❖ Panting
❖ Inability to concentrate
If your puppy regularly does any of the above, please let me know so that I can help you work with him to reduce his anxiety levels.
The Fear Period
For many puppies, the world will become quite a frightening place during the first 3 months of their lives. All puppies go through a ‘fear period’ at anything between 5 ½ weeks to about 20 weeks. Even puppies who have previously seemed confident in every situation can suddenly become scared of new things, or even familiar things.
How you react during this fear period will help your puppy become a calm, confident teenage dog:
❖ Stay calm.
❖ Give distance if he wants to move away.
❖ Allow him to approach the scary thing at his own pace.
❖ Reinforce any moves towards it by praising him and giving tiny, tasty treats so that he gets strong Feel Good associations for approaching the scary thing.
❖ Let him move away at any time if he needs to.
❖ Sometimes touching the scary ‘thing’ yourself can help, but make sure he still has room to move away on a loose lead.
❖Try approaching the scary ‘thing’ from different directions once he is comfortable with it.
❖ Try to approach the scary ‘thing’ over a period of several days, repeating the experience until you know that he is completely calm and confident with it.
Meeting New People - Don't Touch Me Signals
❖ Turning her head away or leaning away
❖ Lip licking
❖ Panting with a tongue that is tense, rather than loose and lolling out of her mouth
❖ Yawning
❖Trying to hide behind you/furniture/anything or anyone that makes her feel safe
❖ Drooling (other than for food)
❖Penis-crowning – the further out it comes, the more stressed he is
❖ Stiff tail
❖ Shaking-off shows she’s felt stressed and is trying to calm down
❖ Chewing ‘hard’ on a bone or toy
❖ Obsessive sniffing of the ground or of hands that come towards her
These are the first signs that a puppy gives to say, ‘Please don’t touch me’. If you see these signals, give the puppy a break from people and put him in a confinement pen/den if he is at home. If you are out with him, take him away from whoever is trying to talk to/touch him.
These pens are ideal to allow you to get on with household jobs and not have to worry what your puppy is getting up to. It also helps teach puppies independence. Place puppy toys, water bowl and a bed inside the confinement area so your puppy can amuse himself.
Following the Socialising Code will teach your puppy how to be calm, content, and confident in all areas of his life. If you allow him to approach things at his own pace, use treats and praise to help him Feel Good, and ensure that this is used for every new thing that he encounters, he will trust that you will always keep him safe. There are bound to be things that he finds a bit difficult in his life, but, giving him this strong foundation in the early days and weeks in your care means that he will always feel secure as he grows into an adult dog.